Life from my point of view...

crazy crazy crazy

2006-04-01T20:49:34Z

life is crazy, could it get anymore crazy?? probably. i am so tired i am delirious. i am seeing things i think...no wait that really is a pink rabbit on my desk...no its gone, must sleep, need sleep *whack* ouch, that was my head hitting the desk.

sleepy.
tired.
why am i still typing?
go to bed
now.

g' nigh

crazybitch_val @ 2006-03-30T07:08:00

2006-03-30T05:17:14Z

What is wrong with everyone?? myself included, we are all just whiny and sniffly and bitchy for no reason. doesn't anything good ever happen to anyone anymore?? We all have pretty decent lives, kids, husbands (some of us), jobs (ok, no one i know has a job), nice homes to live in. we all have the basic necessities of life, are we just pissed because we aren't spoiled little brats that have every single thing our poor little hearts desire??

sorry for that, i would just like for once to click on LJ and see something happy again. when we all lived in texas, we always had something happy to say at least 2 or 3 times a week. and we were not the most friendliest with each other.

i am not bashing on anyone for posting what they feel or how their days are going, but bad moods are contagious. figure out a way to say something nice. find something good that you are thankful for or happy about.

can't we all just have a GOOD day??

peace

:)

2006-03-28T11:22:55Z

okay, so today i went back to the doctor (again). he said my ear infection is cleared up,and now i just have clogged sinus cavities. sounds yummy huh? so they gave me a decongestant and some flonase. he said it should all go away in a couple days.

we got out new camera in the mail yesterday!! i am so excited, now i just gotta figure out how to use it!! i am gonna take lots of pics and post them on photobucket and probably on here too.

madison has a girl scout sleepover on friday. i volunteered to be a sleepover mom, so i am having my first girl scouts sleepover too!! yippee!!

well, in my sooooo exciting life, i don't have a lot going on so i don't have a lot to post.

sucky day.

peace

i posted

2006-03-25T20:59:26Z

lost in a world of choices between LJ and myspace, tonight i chose myspace. you wanna know why, because i try to save the happy stuff for here for the whole world to read (yes i am vain enough to think the whole world reads this jk). anyway, basically, i think i am homesick or something, just feeling a little down. maybe its because i am sick,who knows. wanna know details? read myspace, not my friend, don't read it, i don't care. whatever.

peace

phew

2006-03-24T09:37:27Z

ok, my turn, i have been replying and comment on so much stuff, that i feel like my head is going explode!! some people are worthless, and i am just gonna leave it at that!!

i have something to say to everyone:

i talked to my neice last night (the daughter of the sis i hate) and she was telling me that my sister still hasn't took any legal action on having Kaleb. which means that she never filed for permanant custody or anything!! she also said that he is spoiled rotten and that all he does anymore is sit around the house playing video games and getting chubbier and chubbier. so, i asked her what she thought i should do and she said to try and talk to my sister and if she didn't want to be cival then take her sorry ass to court. which is what i had already been planning on doing. anyway the good news is that, when we get to OK, we are only going to be 7 hours from where they live (thats nothing for a drive), and she said that she would bring him down to see me!!! I get to see my baby!! i am so excited i could pee my pants!! so, now we need to look for a 4 bedroom house instead of 3!! because you can bet your ass that i am going to get him back at least on a visitation basis. i miss him so much and my heart aches for him everyday. now i have one more thing to add to all the things to look forward to in the next 6 months. I get my friends closer, and my baby closer.

WOOOOHOOOOO!!!

peace ya'll

dream

2006-03-22T20:46:55Z

I finally remember the dream i had last night...

i was in this big house, mine i assume, and i was asleep in bed and i woke up and there was a dog next to the bed and then a cat jumped up on me, and i was like i don't have any pets, so i got up to see if maybe i left a door or window open. (i know weird) when i got up, there was nothing in my house. like NOTHING. no furnture, no clothes, no windows, no doors, nothing. Like someone had stolen it all. so, i was looking around my house and i see this girl from high school elizabeth and she is setting my house on fire, like she was trying to kill me or something. so i run out of the house and scream for someone to call the fire department. and i just stand there and watch the house go up in flames. then i teleport (cuz i can do that in dreams) and i am at a track meet or something with all my high school friends, and i am like, dude, my house burnt down last night, and of course no one cares or believes me. and then i am in a car with elizabeth and i am like why did you burn my house down? and then all i can remember is her saying something about a baby and i took it??

what the hell does that mean?? somebody tell me that please. it was so wierd because i woke up all sweaty and shaking. it seriously scared the shit out of me. and the odd thing is, me and elizabeth were pretty good friends. i dunno. i hope it isn't a reaccuring dream. that is the first dream i have had in a really long time that i actually remember, and i only remember it because i watched the movie Elizabethtown tonight. whats weirder, the dream or the fact that i picked that movie to watch?? (oh yah, the movie sucked too)

anyway, scott is coming home early from the feild. he'll be here at midnight tonight. but he still has to work tomorrow. he wasn't feeling well. i hope they can figure what is wrong with him. i hope its nothing serious.

well, i need to go to sleep people.

peace.

hello??

2006-03-22T14:48:22Z

someone better comment on my "jenny did this, so can i"

what a day...

2006-03-21T20:49:51Z

i am sooooo bored. there really is nothing to do around here. i have became a mindless internet dork! i have been sitting here for like 2 hours just goofing off on the computer. i am kinda glad i don't have sims because i would probably be playing it all the time! i think that maybe i could read a book or a magazine, but this medicine has me all zoned out, i can't concentrate on anything. maybe i will just go to bed early, the time difference is so weird, it seems like when i am awake everyone i know is asleep, when i am asleep, they are all awake! there are like 5 hours a day when it is even possible for me to talk to people. i wanna call chas and have her 3 way tegan, but it is only noon there. ryans in bed, and madison is getting ready for bed. i only have 2 cigerettes left. i can't even buy more because scott took the ration card (yes, they ration cigerettes). i quit for 4 days, and then i went out and going out always makes me wanna smoke. so that is just another reason to add to the hundreds, for why i may never go to another bar again!!

i ordered a digital camera, it should be here in a couple weeks, so i will finally be able to change my user pic and post some pics of the brats! everyone keeps asking me why i still have the same pic up there, well, because i am computer illiterate and i can't figure out how to put one of my myspace pics up there.

today, i went back on LJ and i looked at all the posts from a year ago...

my first post as a LJ user:

Current mood: on life, duh
Current music: janice's music flippin' (i kissed a girl...)

Here it is, my first day as a livejournal user. I am way to excited. I hope that people will actually read what i have to say. there are some times when i am sure that i will get on here and ramble endlessly about mindless events in my life that only a few select people will truely understand and appreciate.

so, in less than 2 months, i will be moving out of this "country" to explore the realms of another world!! At least that is the way that it feels to me. Never having been out of the USA, it is a little intimidating to me, but i know that i will adjust and overcome any fears that i have. and this is just one more adventure that i get to add to my list of things that i have done. i swore to myself, a long time ago, that i would never wait around for things to happen to me, i will go out and find them. I figure life is just one more adventure that some people take and some people pass up on. I am not gonna be a bench warmer in life!

that was about 2 months before me and janice took our infamous trip to NYC! that trip changed so much in my life, never thought that one decision could alter the way things turned out. Just reading that makes me laugh and think, "wow, things were crazy back then." Things sure have changed since then. Its amazing how things seemed so much easier then, maybe. No, not really. :)

well, i am on the phone with tegan and chas...ahhh things always seem so much better after i talk to them. everyone seems to be having a bad day. we just need to be back together. :)
well i should go for now, i am feeling kind of light headed and woozy from laying on the floor. my ears filled up, ouch, they hurt.

miss you guys.
peace.

Jenny did it, so can I!!!

2006-03-21T14:19:04Z

answer the questions if you want, i know who will and i know who probably won't!

Why Not

1. Who are you?

2. Are we friends?

3. When and how did we meet?

4. Do you have a crush on me?

5. Would you kiss me?

6. Give me a nickname and explain it.

7. Describe me in one word.

8. What was your first impression of me?

9. Do you still think that way about me?

10. What remindes you of me?

11. If you could give me anything what would it be?

12. How well do you know me?

13. When's the last time you saw me?

14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?

15. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?

lalala connect the dots

2006-03-21T08:18:24Z

So, I woke up this morning to not being able to hear again…blech. I am back in the bubble. At least my ear stopped bleeding, so I guess that is the good in this! The doctor told me yesterday that I have a pinpoint size hole in my eardrum, which is a normal defense to help the draining. There was so much pressure built up that it had no way to escape, so it popped itself. I am glad that my body can relieve the pressure itself, but come on, this is ridiculous. It doesn’t even hurt that bad anymore, its just really annoying not being able to hear.

Scott went to the range today, he will be gone for 4 days. And tomorrow is his birthday. He has to go to the gas chamber on his birthday…that kinda sucks! He also looked on the calendar, and it said that tomorrow is national goof off day. That’s a good day for that to fall on, since he is such a goof off!!

I woke up to the internet not working this morning, when I called they said that the server is down, hopefully it will come up soon. Right now I am just doing my daily posting on Microsoft, so later I will post it.

I finally talked to Chastity last night, so I went to bed in a better mood. She hasn’t been feeling well, I know the feeling. Its hard being so far away from people that you care so much about. She is talking about going back to NY to be near her family. That really sucks, but I know that she needs them and they need her, so I am not going to complain to much. Plus, when I get back in the states she can come and visit me and Tegan. We can have another fun filled week together. I was really looking forward to having her live nearby again, but I will take what I can get. She really keeps me grounded and she understands where I am coming from. She know how to make me feel better and she doesn’t bash on me when I do something she doesn’t agree with. Its like we are really grown ups man!!

Living in Texas was a learning experience for all of us (meaning me, tegan and chas), we learned what was really important to us and what we needed to do to protect that. I think that when I moved to NY, I was doing it out of the sheer need to do something different. I needed to get away so that I would realize what I had while I was in TX. We were friends while we were together there, but nothing could ever compare to the friendship that we have now. We have all went through our share of shitty friendships and hard lessons, and now we are getting the true ones that we deserve. We trust each other enough to know that we will always be there for each other. We all know what it feels like to be burned and we all know what it feels like to have someone stab us in the back, and we know that we would NEVER do that to each other. I know that if I needed someone to be by my side, all I would have to do is call, and I would do the same for them. Which reminds me of a time in NY when my phone was unplugged and they were going to fly out there just because they couldn’t get ahold of me! I left out plenty of details in that, but they know why!! Friends take care of friends, that’s just what they do. I would never turn my back on them for ANYTHING!! I love you guys!!

Blah, blah blah. That is how I feel right now. I think today I might call Tegan. I know it is expensive, but I feel a strong urge to call her. So, T, if you are reading this, BE AT HOME!!

Gotta go, Ryans awake.

Peace

ahhhh, the pain is receding...

2006-03-20T07:02:12Z

well, we are back from our weekend adventure. adventure? i don't know if that is the word i would use to describe this weekend.

friday night, me and bree went to a german pub with her cousin carissa. we did a meter board, which is 10 shots and 10 beers. since i had a cold (still do) i couldn't taste the alcohol, i don't know if that was good or bad. we hung out at that pub for a couple of hours and then carissa took us to a club down the street. keep in mind that carissa is only 19, so staying up until the wee hours of the morning don't really affect her. we had a couple more drinks at that club, but by about 1 am, me and bree were ready to go home. i don't remember the clubs being so hot and crowded and noisy!! i know i am getting old. we went and got a doner (yummy german sandwich) and then we went back to the club to get carissas friends. we got back to the hotel at about 3 am.it was a fun night, but not something i will be repeatinganytime in the near future.

saturday afternoon i got this horrible twingy feeling in my right ear, we tried everything from ear candles to tylonol 3 to get rid of it. then at about 2 in the morning when the guys got back from their night out, my left ear started in. i woke up sunday morning in so much pain. on the drive home it got progressivly worse and worse and WORSE! to the extent that by the time we got home i was begging scott to take me to the ER. now, in germany, you can't just drive 10 minutes and be at the ER. we had to drive almost an hour to Wurzberg to go to the military hospital. so this is what i found out. On top of the wonderful sinus infection that i have, i now have a middle ear infection in my right ear...not too painful. in my left ear, i have a middle ear infection, and external ear infection AND inflamation of the tissue around my ear drum. oh, and my ear has been oozing this nasty stuff since yesterday afternoon. I can't hear and i feel like i am talking through darth vaders mask. so, today scott is going to see if he can get someone to drain my ear at the clinic, but who knows how that will turn out. you think the military doctors suck in the states, they are 10 times worse in a foriegn country.

so today, i am doped up on tylonol 3, motrin, amoxycillin, ear drops (that numb), and sudafed. ahhhhh, that floaty feeling is nice compared to the pain i felt yesterday. like no pain i have ever felt.

i haven't talked to chas or tegan all weekend, i know they have their own lives that keep them busy (so if they aren't talking to you, its because they have their own lives to worry about too), but sometimes i just miss talking to them. :(

well, i gotta go drug up, so i can get some things done.

peace.

another mindless post about me!!!

2006-03-16T10:21:26Z

1. Do you still talk to the person you had your first kiss with?
ummmm...no

2. What would you do with 1,000 plastic spoons?
i would let ry play with some and use the others for eating...like you are supposed to

3. What did you do when you weren't in school in the 2nd grade?
rode my bike

4.Whats the best thing about your job?
well, i consider my kids a full time job, so just seeing them smile is the best

5. Do you like more than one person right now?
i love chastity and tegan!!

6. Are you against same sex marriage?
no, you can't help who you love

7. Did you vote for Bush?
i didn't vote...

8. Where are you going on your next vacation??
PRAGUE!!!

9. Have you made out with anyone on your top 8?
ummm,i don't think so, i make out with so many people...jk :)

10. Are most of your friends guys or girls?
a few of each, my closest are girls

11. Do you own any furniture from Ikea?
not yet

12. Last book you read?
green eggs and ham

13. If you could have one super power what would it be?
teleport

14. Where have you lived most of your life?
kansas

15. What was the last convo you had about?
lol, you don't wanna know

16. Where do you see yourself in four years?
what am i, a psychic??

17. What's your favorite smell?
johnsons baby soap on the kids right after their bath, and Axe body spray
18. What is your favorite sound?
*smooch* air kisses

19. Are you moody?
just a little

20. Favorite Movie of all time?
i like a lot of movies, i can't even think of one

21. Have you ever done anything vindictive to your classmate?
i have done a few mean things...

22. Have you ever gone to therapy?
of course
23. Have you ever Played Spin the bottle?
not with more then 2 people!

24. Have you ever toilet papered someone's house?
yes
25. Have you ever liked someone but never told them?
yes

26. Have you ever gone camping?
i spent my childhood in a tent on the river

27. Have you ever had a crush on your sister/brothers friend?
my sisters are all way older than me
28. Have you ever gone to a nude beach?
never
29. Have you ever gone streaking?
never
30. Have you ever had a stalker?
yes, but not a scary one

31. Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
no

32. Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?
all the time, i laugh a lot

33. Have you ever gone to a party where you were the only sober person?
only once or twice, i have also been the only drunk one!

34. Have you ever been in love?
yes, and out of love

35. Have you ever felt betrayed by your best friend?
a couple of times
36. Have you ever lied to your parent[s]?
Yes.

37. Have you ever been out of the US?
Yes.

38. Have you ever thrown up from working out?
nope, i am lazy

39. Have you ever gotten a haircut so bad that you wore a hat for a month? no, i just deal with it
40. Have you ever eaten 3 meals from 3 different fast food places in the same day? of course
42. Have you ever spied on someone?
i lived in van horn, of course i did
43. Have you ever slept with one of your coworkers?
never

44. Have you ever seen your best friend naked?
chas's boob slapped me in the face, i would have to say yes!!

45. Who was the last person who called you?
Chastity

46. When was the last time you slept for more then 12 hours straight?
high school
47. Have you ever been arrested?
more than once

48. When was the last time you cried?
a couple times a week lately

49. Have you ever stolen anything?
not recently

50. Have you ever drank egg nog?
yeah, i love it!!

crazybitch_val @ 2006-03-15T14:11:00

2006-03-15T13:15:07Z

Your Independence

Your most seductive quality is that you don’t care if you have one—or at least whether your date thinks you have one. Individual and strong, you attract others by doing your own thing and presenting yourself confidently. These characteristics are especially irresistible to those used to women who go out of their way to please. As a result, your companions often work overtime to get your approval. Tip: Wear something soft to show that your inner tiger can also purr like a kitten.

crazybitch_val @ 2006-03-15T09:56:00

2006-03-15T08:59:57Z

You fit in with:
Humanism

Your ideals mostly resemble that of a Humanist. Although you do not have a lot of faith, you are devoted to making this world better, in the short time that you have to live. Humanists do not generally believe in an afterlife, and therefore, are committed to making the world a better place for themselves and future generations.

20% scientific.
60% reason-oriented.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

crazybitch_val @ 2006-03-15T09:55:00

2006-03-15T08:55:59Z

<td align="center">Your Theme Song:

"The Sounds Of Silence", Simon & Garfunkel

'What is your theme song?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

sigh

2006-03-14T14:12:19Z

today i went to illeshime (sp) with Bree. we took ryan and bryan (yes, that gets confusing) and we went to the thrift store and to the PX there. i was looking for curtains for maddies room. we found an entire set of blues clues bed stuff at the katterbach thrift store so i was hoping to get lucky today as well...no such luck. but i did find a kids desk and some makeshift curtains. i also got a toddler learning kit from the px for $2. that will come in handy when i start my daycare!!! i also got some wime glasses for $1.25 at the PX. all in all a good day spent shopping.

i had a kind of revelation last night. i have decided to turn my life around and actually do some good for once. since so many people view me as such a bad person, i figure there are some things that i could change. for starters, i am always talking about starting a daycare, so i got the paperwork to take the classes, and then i can start it in the states! it is something i have always wanted to do, so now i am going to. so, obviously means there are a few other things that i have already quit, but just now i won't be able to do them at all anymore. and that is actually ok with me. also, i have decided to gid rid of my grudges and fix my past. people say you can't change the past, but you can go and apologize for the mistakes that you have made. so, if i have wronged you (and chances are i have) then be expecting me to talk to you. i need this for my own personal growth, please listen if i come to you. you don't have to forgive me, just listen to what i have to say, and i will except criticism and comments if need be.

well, i am exhausted, and i need to pee, so i will be back in a bit.

peace.

crazybitch_val @ 2006-03-13T22:05:00

2006-03-13T21:06:07Z

13MAR06 6:51am

Normally, after a night like last night, there would be no way that I would be up at 6:45 in the morning writing a journal and getting Madison ready for school. But here I am, trying to be superwoman or something or just doing my duties as a mom and a wife and a dedicated journal writer. First of all, Ryan has been sick for 2 days, fever, restless, no eating. Last night at around 1, he woke up with a fever of 101, so I got out of bed, gave him some tylonol and laid down with him in his big boy bed. ( more on that later) he tossed and turned until about 3, when I gave him a cuppy of water and he finally settled down long enough for me to get a few hours of sleep in his bed. At 4:45, Scott came in to check on us and Ryan fever had went down and he pushed me out of his bed and said “sleepy mommy”, so I went back to my bed, for what I though would be sleep. No way, Scott started moaning and saying that he was in a lot of pain. I won’t go into details because it is kinda private, but basically I had to have his 1st SGT come and get him and take him to sick hall.

2:14pm

Well, Ryan has RSV. Nothing to serious, basically just an upper respitory infection. Then we discussed possibly getting tubes put in his ears because of all of the ear infections that he has since he has been born. Its all pretty stressful for a 21 month old and his sleep deprived mama.

Scott is at the doctor right now, they are running some test, but they think it is the same thing as last time which was endometreitis…don’t ask, cause I don’t know.

Madison starts girl scouts today, I know that she is going to be bouncing off the walls when she gets back! I hope she has fun, I have been told that European girl scouts is more fun than in the states.

Today is internet day!!!! All of my journal entries will finally be posted. Cross your fingers that World War 3 doesn’t start!!!

Hugs and Kisses to those that want em.

crazybitch_val @ 2006-03-13T22:04:00

2006-03-13T21:04:08Z

10MAR06 6:41am

Not to long ago, I had a pretty passionate discussion about religion with someone. It has been on my mind ever since. For those of you that don’t know, I am not a big believer of god, and contrary to what has been said, it is not because I have sinned so much in my life that I feel there will never be “redemption” for me. I can’t really remember a time when I ever have believed. I went to Bible school when I was a kid and I occasionally went to the Methodist church that was next to my house, but it never really meant anything to me. My parents are both Nazerene, but I don’t even know what that means. Kaleb and Madison are both baptized Catholic, but their Grandma is very Catholic, so it was mostly because of that. When I got to NY, I went to a morman church with an old friend, and there was just to much pressure to believe. Plus, the person I went with seemed to have alternative motives as to why she was in that church. I don’t wanna go to church and “believe” in something just because the church will give me stuff. My reason for not being religious is because I have never felt enlightened. Nothing religious has ever touched my soul you could say. So, now, as I sit here pondering the conversation once again, I wonder if there is a religion out there that fits me. I have briefly read up on Buddhism, but I feel I really need someone to kind of “hold my hand” in explaining it to me. With so much focus on religion these days, it makes me wonder if maybe I am missing out on something. Maybe Buddhism isn’t for me, but I also know that neither is Catholic and definetly not Mormanism. It is so hard to try and find myself religiously when I have already established such strong views on not being religious.

Its not that I look down on people that are religious, because I don’t. To me, people need something to believe in, something to help them get through their days, something to make them feel like there is hope for everyone. I believe in Karma and fate. I believe that everything happens for a reason, but I don’t believe that some all mighty being is helping me make those decisions. I believe in free will and the right to make your own choices. I also believe that there are plenty of consequences and rewards for making those choices. I think every choice a person makes has a good side and a bad side. Kind of like ying and yang or black and white or life and death. I feel that when we make a bad decision, we will have consequences for that, be it tomorrow or 10 years from now. And the same for good choices. I have found ways in my life, to look for the good in things and to notice the bad things. I have found ways to put myself in situations for positive outcomes and ways to avoid the negative. I know I don’t always make the best decisions, but in my heart and mind, those are my decisions to make and if I am willing to live with the consequences or enjoy the rewards then that is where it becomes my decision.

I know that some people are gonna read this and either get really heated or really confused, but that is why I am writing this. I am finally ready to listen. If you wanna preach your religion to me, please don’t. I have some pretty strong views on why I don’t believe in god, so please don’t try and ruin that for me, I would never try and push my idea of “non-religion” on anyone. If you have some helpful insight as to what religion might “fit” me, I agree to not be close minded. I would definetly appreciate some variety, I know there has to be something out there that is right for me. I need there to be something.

I need something that I can feel passionate about. I need something that I feel I can turn to when I am having a hard time making a tough decision in my life. I need to be enlightened.

So will someone please ENLIGHTEN me???

Peace out and hippie love.
XOXOXO

crazybitch_val @ 2006-03-10T07:18:00

2006-03-13T17:59:39Z

10Mar06 7:18am
Alright ya’ll…yesterday I went to the gym…for an hour and OMG, it sucked. I haven’t been to the gym since I started smoking again, and I could feel the pain. And this morning I can really feel the pain. I went 9 miles on the spin machine, and 2 miles uphill on the tread mill. I just want my ass back. My pants all fit me around the waist, but they keep falling off because I have no ass to hold them up. And for those of you that remember, I never used to have that problem, in fact just the oppissite. in fact, it kinda looks like someone deflated my butt, which does make my "tail" look a lot more prominant. yes, i have a very prominant tailbone, which has said to remind people of shallow hal...except i can't wiggle mine!! i wish i could, cuz at least it would be a party trick!!

crazybitch_val @ 2006-03-09T07:55:00

2006-03-13T17:57:19Z

09MAR06 7:53 am

Well this is my second attempt at starting my journal entries…Ryan has discovered the pretty little blue button that is the power to writing! He loves to push my buttons, in more ways than one!!

As I sit here looking out my window, I still have to stop and remind myself that I am in another country. Its not all that different here, the people are the same, the just speak a different language. And since we live on post, we mostly see Americans anyway. I have noticed a few differences though, let me tell you about them.

The Autobahn, oh that road is gonna be the death of me! First of all (ode to Tegan), the speed is in kilometers, so it is really weird to look at the speedometer and see the needle pointed at 180. And since the roads seem a little more narrow, it always seems like someone is swerving at us, or us them!

The cities seem pretty crowded and the countryside pretty empty. But when you are coming up over a hill and you see this crowded little village below you covered in snow…its almost majestic. It is by far a very beautiful country. I can’t wait until springtime when everything is in bloom and colorful, because right now it is snowy and kinda dreary.

The exchange rate is definitely new to me, on post we can use american money, but off post we use the euro. Right now the rate is .80 to our dollar, so basically more expensive.

I had my first german coca cola the other day, it was different. They use a different kind of sugar and less carbonation, so it taste a little flat, but everyone reassures me that I will get used to it.

All in all, it doesn’t feel like home, and I find myself longing for just a little bit of the USA. I want a real coke and to not wonder if the guy at the gate speaks English. I am kind of counting this as an extended vacation. After 5 months, the novelty will have wore off and I will be ready to come home.

We have also started planning our first trip out of Germany. We have decided to go to Prague over Memorial Day weekend. The great thing about that is the exchange rate in Czech is like 200 to 1--way good for us. So, everyone should be expecting some good gifts in the mail or when we get back to the states!!

I watched the entire 1st season of Desperate Housewives this week. I finally see what all the fuss was about, even Scott got into it. It is actually a really good show, they always keep you guessing.

Today is the first day since we have been here that Scott has to work. So, my first day alone. Its not bad, I am gonna start putting some stuff away and get this awesome apartment organized. As soon as we get our camera, I will post pics of it.

Well, I hear that a certain person is glad that I finally left NY, she seems to forget that she is the one that brought me there, so any grief she had was her own fault. She posted “the wicked witch is dead”, lol, I’m not dead , just temporarily out of the country. I love the fact that she still manages to find time to mention me in her entries!! I know that I am happy with my life and I am that way because she is not in my life. If she needs to know the details of my life, she knows to read this to get them. If that is her fix to get through each day, then so be it! The only reason I read her post is because every time I go somewhere she always manages to say something about me, so I knew she would this time.

I had a dream last night about a boy bratz doll. I didn’t exactly know what to think when I woke up this morning. I wanted to keep sleeping so that I could keep looking at it. Those bratz dolls are pretty mesmerizing!

Well, I should go for now…I will write more later today.

Peace out bitches!
XOXOXO

crazybitch_val @ 2005-09-14T10:22:00

2005-09-14T14:35:51Z

i think some peoples definition of friendship are a bit misconstrued. you want good friends then you need to be a good friend. why don't you let everyone know how you have treated me over the past couple of weeks? you haven't been the prime example for a friend either. all the talk about who owes who what and how we are using you. how does it feel?? you tell me that i am using you, and i don't do anything for you. did you tell anyone that i practically took care of your kids for 4 months? who got them ready for school everyday, made sure that were at school everyday? who made sure alex didn't go down the street at 7 am? who fed him breakfast and kept him entertained until you got out of bed? who pushed you everyday to get out of bed? who stayed your friend through thick and thin no matter what anyone was saying about you. who stuck up for you when you were sleeping with your best friends husband? who helped you to get out of an emotionally abusive relationship? who gave up everything in her life to travel 2500 miles across the country, going on some half assed ideas, because you needed support from a friend?

whether you think it or not, the initial reason i came here was for you, but when we got here, you didn't want anything to do with me unless you were reminding me of how much i owed you. which, by the way, if you would have mentioned that i was going to owe you half of a loan that you took out in your husbands name, i would have been a little more apprehensive.

you're mad? i am not mad at all, if you think that accusing me of things that i know are not true, then be that way, i don't care. i thought we were better friends then that, but maybe it is just like EVERYONE here told me... this is the real janice, she isn't the one i saw in TX. this one is just like scott, selfish and spoiled and jealous about stupid shit.

Friends talk things out, and come to a rational decision about things. they don't call each other names and make each other feel like the past year has been a lie a totally different person than they thought they knew.

crazybitch_val @ 2005-09-04T18:58:00

2005-09-04T22:58:27Z

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	mysterious
Your hugs are...	gentle
Your eyes...	sparkle like the stars
Your touch is...	awakening my heart
Your smell is...	refreshing
Your smile is...	entrancing
Your love is...	everlasting

Quiz created with MemeGen!

crazybitch_val @ 2005-09-04T18:47:00

2005-09-04T22:56:01Z

ahhhh, maybe i have finally had enough sleep to post! it has been a busy past couple of days... a lot has been going on. we looked at an amzing apartment the other day. I LOVE IT!! it has a garage, and a fenced in backyard with 2 rock BBQ's built into the wall. the kitchen has a RED tile floor...RED!!! then it has a double oven stove built into the wall with stones all around it. the living room had a huge window seat and a fireplace. it has 3 little bedrooms, but they are really cute. then we have a cute little entrance way and a breakfast nook backporch. it is everything that i have ever wanted in an apartment.

today i took maddie to church. not something that i would normally do, but i thought i would be openminded and give it a chance...boy was i wrong. the whole time i felt like i was being brainwashed. not pressured so much as just bothered by some of their beliefs. i just can't believe in something like that. i never have been able to, i don't think i can start now.

well, i should go for now, i need to pee...

crazybitch_val @ 2005-08-19T07:48:00

2005-08-19T13:49:16Z

tagan is leaving today...i know i am gonna cry...

crazybitch_val @ 2005-08-17T14:30:00

2005-08-17T20:35:08Z

so, sometime in the near future i will be moving again. where to you ask...well, there are not to many people that know this, but me and a few little birdies have been talking about relocating to New York! if you know me, then you know that i have always loved NY and i have always talked about someday living there. I am dealing with my past, not burning anymore bridges and i think that i need a place where i can start over from scratch. i am doing it for me which is a little selfish, i know. but i can't stay here, i hate it here. so, why shouldn't i go? i know there are several people that are not going to like that idea, but it'll have to just grow on ya!